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nattish

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Link & chickens.
nattish

FIC: A Balancing Act (4/4)

Title: A Balancing Act
Author: nattish
Pairing: Harry/Draco
"Rating": NC-17

Summary: Draco has lost his friends, parents, home, and all sense of security. Hogwarts is a lonely place for a boy who used to have it all. Then, one day, he finds comfort in someone unexpected -- Harry Potter, who is keeping a tantalizing secret.

Betas: I've never been more delighted to be put in my place! I owe two helpful girls my thanks, because this fic was pretty grimy before they shined it up. To
dacian_goddess: Thank you for bitch-slapping my Americanisms and Muggle-isms and for making me closer examine my characterization. To oddnari: Thank you for your persistence, sweetness, and for busting my, erm, "humps".

(Read it here!)


SEQUEL: Bearded Lady

You might want to fix your cut and formatting. lol.

And a warning about Harry's cross-gender might be a good idea too as that's a pretty big squick for some people.

Working on it so hardcore!

I wish it was longer. DX

Normally I don't like cross-gender, but this was fabulous. I absolutely loved it. ♥_♥

Great story, I liked it a lot, spent the entire evening just now reading it, actually. I think it was a very clever rehash of 6th year, as well as a somewhat 'different' take on the H/D dynamics.

Thank you so very much. :)

Hrm, this story was more about Draco's journey + answering the question of why Harry is the way he is. However! A sequel to answer your question is in the works...

Thanks for reading.

Wow!! Amazing fic, absolutely amazing. I really really hope you do a sequel.

Thank you. I think it calls for a sequel. :O

This was a very raw story. Draco is quite base and foul-mouthed (and his actions reflect this) at first. And yet, he cannot get enough of Harry. I was drawn into the whole story line of what was going on with Harry's sex. Was it a spell? A potion? Did his parents know? And why the h-e-double hockey sticks was Dumbledore avoiding Harry's request for answers? Then it was how Draco reacted--to Harry, to his mother's death, to his father and to his friends. I felt as emotionally turbulent as someone dealing with conflicting emotions and impulses does. I was surprised by Draco's power and felt it an interesting twist to the story. When Dumbledore commented on Harry's bubbling magic when he was in the womb, I thought why not the same power that Draco displays a few times during the course of the story? Not something that fit into the story development, but I would have liked to see some hint of this earlier.

I had to reflect on this story before posting a review because it stirred conflicting emotions in me (e.g., disgust at Draco's sexual descriptions and anger at Dumbledore for avoiding Harry). While I liked the story and the ending, like an earlier reviewer, I also wanted to know what sex Harry chose and how Draco reacts when he does have to face people that were his friends and family during the war. Plus, how the two deal with their relationship when shown to friends.

Thanks very much for the review.

When Dumbledore commented on Harry's bubbling magic when he was in the womb, I thought why not the same power that Draco displays a few times during the course of the story?

That didn't really occur to me! I meant to imply that the reason Draco could do these things was because he was partially trained in this wandless magic already, so he could channel it without a wand (sometimes without meaning to); whereas baby Harry's magic was just wild, as child-wizard magic often can be. Maybe I should have made the distinction clearer.

I know the ending leaves one wondering what will happen (I'm half wondering, even though I have fairly solid notions of a sequel story-line). At the same time, I felt that it was fitting: Harry went his whole life not knowing what was wrong with him, and now he does know; Draco went several months on the fence about what to do with himself, and then he made a decision. What will come next feels like a completely different story to me, which I will probably write. (It will probably be shorter!)

But at the same time, I understand. I don't really consider myself a well-versed author, so it really helps to get this feedback and learn how to do things better in the future.

Took me a few days to get to read it but whee! I loved it! It's weird, hot, lovely, and totally wonderful! Thank you!

You have simply made my day. Thank you so much for enjoying this and writing such lovely feedback. You have no idea what getting those few extra reviews meant to me. :)

I don't suppose you have a single file version of your story that you'd be willing to email me at amalthia at gmail.com

I will certainly do that soon. :)

I found my way here from PainlessJ's rec. I loved this story. I usaully don't care for the gender switching type stories but usually everything she recs is worth the read and yours was fantastic. I hope you plan a sequel ;)

Hugs,
Dixiebell

I do plan a sequel. Thank you so much for reading. I'm glad you enjoyed.

Not my normal read, but I just couldn't stop! Wonderful job!

here via painlessJ's rec.

Great story. Not a theme I'd usually look out for, but I really liked your treatment of it and of Draco emotionally coming to terms with his changed allegiance. The Pansy/Draco dynamic was a nice touch for the making choices theme too.

I'm so glad you liked it. And I enjoyed writing Draco and Pansy more than I ever expected to.

Loved it! Can't wait for the sequel!

I loved this fic. Just totally awesome! And soooo hot :D Showed me again, that I can love well written fics even if the genre normally squicks me.

Thank you so much for writing this!

I'm so pleased to hear you say that about the normally squicky content! Thank you so much.

I liked this so very much. It was so very unique and wonderful and...*happysigh*

That is all.

Thank you very much. I'm glad you liked!

Sooo gotta know what Harry decides to do? Will he try being fully a boy and fully a girl? Or will he chose to be what he is now?

:D

The sequel will tell all.

Thank for reading!

Thank you.

And indeed. :D

That was unutterably gorgeous. I can't even leave a coherent comment because, my god, I think you have broken my brain with your brilliance.

I await the sequel with thinnly-veiled anticipation (because, HYLO IT SHALL BE FANTASTIC).

-x-

Thanks so much for the lovely comment! I liked this story very much, so I'm glad you did, too. :)

elle_em_n says: great fic! lol

(Anonymous)
Great fic!! I love girl!Harry fics and they're so rare. I can't wait to see a sequel to this fic...i liked the fact the story traded POVs b/w Draco and Harry, but in a way most of it was seen by Draco's unique perspective lol about shitting chocolates...hehe, great job!

Re: elle_em_n says: great fic! lol

I rather liked that shitting bird. :D

Thanks very much!

Wow. I didn't think I would this going in but once I started reading I couldn't stop. Reading this was like drinking sweet ambrosia! I'll be waiting in earnest for the sequel. <3

I didn't think I would this going in but ...

Possibly my favorite sort of comment. I'm glad to defy your expectations. ^_^

Thank you for reading and enjoying.

I can't even tell you how much I enjoyed this story.

In the beginning, I was totally convinced that I was was not going to like it. Not because of the gender-bending, because that's actually why I had starting reading the story in the first place, but because of what an asshole Draco was. He was a spot on canon!Draco, but more than that... he was a spot on DUDE. GUH, I wanted to SLAP HIM for the things that were coming out of his mouth, and in the beginning I could see no way in which the Draco you originally presented could ever mature.

But then... oh man, things changed. You introduced the most heart-breaking backstory, little by little let us get a glimpse of a real conflicted human being behind the insults and disrespect Draco was originally radiating. As Draco started to care, I started to care about him. And your wonderful way with words just kept drawing me in further and further until there was nothing that could stop me from continuing. I meant to be in bed hours ago, haha, but this was well worth it.

I thought you pulled off the first person POV flawlessly. It was wonderful. Your dialogue between the boys was perfect and your humor had me literally laughing out loud. When I read about Narcissa's death, I had tears in my eyes. And Harry's predicament... and the reasoning behind it... I have SUCH LOVE for how you put this all together. I had tears in my eyes when Dumbledore was explaining it to Harry, because I realized that they did it not just to throw Voldemort off, but to protect Harry too, and I just... ugh, just pure genius.

I saw up there that you are working on a sequel. I cannot even wait for it! *crosses fingers that it's from Harry's POV this time*

Oh, and... I shall be reccing this in my journal. Thank you so much for captivating me this evening! =)

What a wonderific review! It pleases me so much that you went from not-sure-you'd-like-it to liking-it-muchly. And I wanted Draco to come off as a slimy teenage boy badly -- so, I'm rather glad you felt that way at first. ;)

Thank you so much for your thoughts! I enjoyed writing this story, so to know how you felt about it means a lot. And, actually, you're right -- the sequel will be in all or mostly Harry's POV, since it will be dealing mostly with his gender predicament (as opposed to Draco's problems).

Haaaaa I love this

Here from scarlet_malfoy's rec; actually sat on it for several days before I finally got around to reading it--starting a fic is always work for me, but once I get into it...

To be honest, it was hard for me to get into it at first, and I stuck around pretty much just for the genderbending--there isn't enough of it in the fandom, and despite Draco being a little shit you have a phenomenal way with words. And then Draco wasn't quite so much of a shit and Pansy--her stunt, coming out and saying Draco's a spy, that was pretty incredibly awesome. And I was officially into it and it was amazing.

It did feel a little unfinished, but in the way that life feels unfinished--you think back on a time in your life and say "oh, yeah, that guy. whatever happened with him?" You don't know, and you move on. It feels natural not to know. (Not that I'm complaining about a sequel, oh no! especially as that one is supposed to be more about the genderbending.)

Anyway, I really loved this. I'd rec it on my journal too but no one reads me that doesn't read scarlet_malfoy so there's little point. It is going into my "The Classics" bookmarks folder, which you should be damn proud of--there's not a lot there.

Also your icon is adorable. I love running over the cuckoos in Lon Lon Ranch (in OoT) on Epona and haveing them chase me around completely ineffectually. I have had them kill me, though, playing around too much in Kakariko Village and unable to escape. ANYWAY I WILL STOP BEING RANDOM NOW SORRY. YOUR FIC ROCKS.

Edited at 2009-04-06 08:42 am (UTC)

Hey, thanks so much for leaving feedback! More than one person has said it felt incomplete -- and I sort of agree? As a reader, I think I would feel that way. But as a writer, I look at it and go, "Hrm, this is where Draco's dilemma ends, so logically this is the end?"

I really appreciate the sentiment, though (especially since endings are what I'm weakest at, overall). By the end of the sequel, any lose ends will be tied up.

Also -- LIIIINK <3 I really like kicking and stabbing the chickens in OoT until they cry out for their friends, at which point they all attack me at once. Good times.

Thanks again!

LLUUVVVEEEDDDD IT.

Truly.

This is only the third gender bender type of fic I've read, and I think I like the genre. One of the things I really like about this, is you have Harry being 'female', but really, he is still a boy. He is still Harry. You didn't feminize him.

I love Draco's POV, the terror and the pain that he has to go through. I think the fist person POV was perfect here.

I'm really pleased with this story and plan on reccing it on my rec list. Thanks for a great read!

Thanks so much! I'm glad you enjoyed. Sometimes I like a bit of "femme," so it was difficult at times not to veer in that direction. I'm glad I succeeded. Sorry about my lateness, by the way. I rarely log in these days. :)

I just loved this. I adored transgendered Harry (I once dressed up as Super Transgendered Harry Potter for a costume party)! But mostly I loved your Draco, so hurt and lost but not pathetic.

XD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i loved it! I absolutely LOVED how you wrote Draco!
And the whole Hermione 'that's why i did double' thing made me giggle. It is such a Hermione thing to do! =P

XOXOX

Thank you, Anonymous. :D

I'm glad you liked Hermione. I'm rather fond of her, too.

This was on vaysh's summer reading list and I thought I'd check it out. And ooh, gender-bending. I haven't read many of these and I've liked even fewer from those that I have read but this was very nice. Although Harry's secret came as a complete surprise, I actually enjoyed this a lot. It was weird, definitely weird but also hot and strangely sweet in the midst of all that questing Draco is doing to figure things out. I would definitely love a sequel! =)

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